sunless...

Sunless, the way I like it. Cool and still. It is perfect outside.  Unlike my life. I heard good news the other day, a Composer took 33 years to complete a 'work'  I was only half listening.  I mostly just caught that it took him 33 years to do it.  That means there is a little hope for myself.
I see many people about my age who are motivated and involved in something that will change another.  Where's MY motivation, I have none.  Everything I do I am proud of for a moment, then I feel like it has to be kept a secret so my identity isn't ripped from me.  I'm not one for being loud and competitive so I usually lose.  I'm not good with attention and recognition so I hide.  So it is my own fault, but really my perseption is why would you do that to another. 
I wrote a poem about it, I like writing poems they are short term.  If you are interested in my paranoia continue:

Taken
Play on a stage,
let me be your
audience.
Act out every
passion,
I’ll keep it all in
confidence.

I am a mimic,
I am a mime,
I am a mirror,
keeping your,
 -time.

Sing real loud
your tune,
I will listen with a
recorder.
This will make
it possible,
to recall it, all in
order.

I am a mimic,
I am a mime,
I am a performer,
absorbing your,
  -prime.

Tell me your
secrets, I will tell
you, your
fortune.
I will erase
your existence,
with each word
you have
spoken.

I am a mimic,
I am a mime,
I am a poet,
repeating your
  -rhyme.

　
Sit by me
be a friend,
Ignore me
and my vague
insinuations.
You are naive
to trust,
confused by
all the
persuasions.

I am a mimic,
I am a mime,
I am a thief,
reflecting your
 -crime.